So anyone who knows me knows I’m awkward as f***. That’s how I have always been. I could blame the fact I was an only child, or that I was the friendless loser in high school. But either way, I am just not the most akin to the art of acting like a normal human being, at least in my eyes.
Due to this rather annoying inconvenience of mine, I have struggled with making and maintaining friendships. Though I have somewhat mastered the art of socializing and holding a conversation with others, I have never quite made it into the friend status with very many people. It can be frustrating at times, especially since everyone around me seems to be able to do it so easily.
So why can’t I do so as easily?
I contemplate this at times during my solitude after work. One day, the question seed I planted in my head finally grew and I realized something! Everyone I see around me, at least from my impression of things, have had a normally social life growing up, full of trials and tribulations of friendships and slowly building friendships throughout the years. I, unfortunately, shoved myself so far down my shell that I have only recently started to discover a way out.
Socializing and making friends is almost like a skill, similar to skills that you learn in school or work on after work. It’s something that people work on naturally every single day from the time they are born to the day they die. Everyday, the skill of building friendships evolve.
When I thinking of the situation in this light, I realize that it’s not that I can’t make friends; I just have a lot less practice than others my age.
I mean, just picture me in high school. While everyone else was excitedly talking to their friends at lunch, I was quietly reading in the corner on my Kindle. While everyone else went out with their friends on a Friday or Saturday night, I stayed at home and vicariously lived through the main characters of Degrassi: The Next Generation. While everyone else attended every school dance in grand attire, I was sitting at home in my PJs watching TV.
It’s no wonder why I suck at making friends! I have far less experience than everyone else!
I feel very weird saying that I need to practice a basic skill like talking to others my age, but I will say that it has genuinely helped a lot! I can honestly say that I have become much more social these past few months and I have even started to initiate social situations instead of waiting for them to come to me.
So as I increase my skills in the art of socializing, the art of friend making will slowly start to form any I will evolve into a true semi-social butterfly!